emma's lunchtime prayer

after putting the girls at the table for lunch, emma says to me:

"mama, we need to pray for god's food."

as i grab my girls' hands, emma then begins on her own,

"dear jesus,

thank you for ashlan's nap, and the day, and food. daddy drive home safely. in jesus name, amen."

i am so welled up with the beauty of that moment. my heart is so full. my beautiful little girl is such an angel. what a blessing.

merely pretty

i wanted to put this down in my blog so that someday, when my girls are a bit older, i can share it with them. what a beautiful message about how much stock we can put in such an insignificant word. my daughters will know that they will never be merely pretty.

katie makkai: "pretty" defined

on becoming...

i am discovering that even in my 30's now, i am still such a work in progress. not that i thought any differently, but it is just strange to know that personality stuff i have dealt with forever is still going strong.

i wish i knew the secret to changing things about my personality. i wish i could just *not* be a particular way any more. but, i suppose, with 30 years of practice, it will take a bit more than a waive of a magic wand to change.

at the church sermon last week, the message was surrendering to god. i think this is definitely an area where i need to surrender myself and let god work in me. i have always had my insecurities and their manifestations in various parts of my life. i think, at 30, it is time to be more confident and self assured.

treasured

i made my first etsy.com treasury last night. i don't even have my own shop, but i just love the site. i couldn't get to sleep, so i decided to browse, and browse...and browse through etsy until i came up with an idea for a treasury. what else....BEES!!

it was so much fun to look for things to put together a treasury. i liked working with a theme, though it did make it a bit tougher. i don't really have the connections to make it very popular, but a girl can dream of ending up on the cover page, right?

if you want to check it out, please do so! and feel free to click on all the individual pictures too!

the art of beeing

i think i may just have to come up with another one soon. this was so fun!!

sleepless

sometimes i dislike my life more than others. when both of my girls are up screaming their heads off, keeping each other awake....i find myself not so thrilled with things.

heavenly chocolate butterscotch chip cookies

the other week i decided to make some home made cookies. i found a recipe that sounded good and i was off and baking! i had some remaining butterscotch chips that i thought would make a nice addition to the chocolate chip cookies. the result?

AH.MAZE.ING.

the recipe ended up making somewhere around 54 cookies. um. wow. i didn't really notice that when i began the process. see, i rarely bake. so coming out with so many cookies was crazy. but we sure did go through them!!

i repeated the process just a few days ago, minus the butterscotch chips, and, i must say, these cookies are just so fricken good!

*drool*

why hello, my old friend.

aaah, now i remember why i liked breast feeding so much. yes, yes, i loved the bonding experience and the closeness and the intimacy. i loved the look of my baby girl nestled in close and latched on to my body. i loved the vulnerability the whole experience was about. but that is not what i am talking about here.

friends, i will forever miss the absence of a (not so) good old friend. yes, that's right. old aunt flo. i forgot just how wonderful it was to have her out of my life for the last 17 or so months. you know how they say you don't realize what you have till it's gone? well, lets just say i didn't appreciate what i didn't have till it came roaring back into my life.

the lower back pain. the aches. the desire to detach the entire lower middle portion of my body from the rest of me. [sarcasm]oh, how i am so thrilled to have you back[/sarcasm] .

yes, i was looking forward to the ever so slight independence that would return with the separation of boob and babe. but oh, how i forgot about the ball and chain that would then attach itself firmly to my girlish nether-regions. that monthly dues collector...paid in, well, you know.

i will miss the beautiful communion of nursing. but i will be ever reminded of what i gave up. once each month, for approximately two weeks...from first ache to final drop, i will mourn the end of that stage in raising my children...the day the milk dried.

and they were singin' bye, bye my lactation device. froze my booby's cold white jucies till my boobies went dry. them good ol' babes drinkin' milk cuz they cried, singin' this'll be the day my boobs dried.