i want to get rid of my dogs. bad. worse than that, i have, on occasion, had thoughts of harming them. i just can't handle two dogs and two kids and a house and being a good wife. i don't think i'm that woman.
i'd hate hearing emma call for the dogs if we ever did get rid of them. i'd feel so guilty.
but i want them gone. at least one. i'm going crazy.
i definitely need a punching/kick bag if they are to stay around. so that they do not become it.
i feel like such a bad person. but it's the truth.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
a love poem for my girls
Kewpie Mine
I love knee and elbow dimples,
Wrist and ankle wrinkles,
Neck folds and Buddha-belly rolls
Pudgy double chins
And wide gummy grins,
Teeny tiny toes
And that cute button nose,
Precious sweet sighs
And even fitful cries,
Your squishy little buns,
The hairs on your head?
Every one.
Darling little baby girl,
My love. My world.
11/6/09
I love knee and elbow dimples,
Wrist and ankle wrinkles,
Neck folds and Buddha-belly rolls
Pudgy double chins
And wide gummy grins,
Teeny tiny toes
And that cute button nose,
Precious sweet sighs
And even fitful cries,
Your squishy little buns,
The hairs on your head?
Every one.
Darling little baby girl,
My love. My world.
11/6/09
no fussing allowed
can i just say,
i hate the screaming; i hate the screaming; i hate the screaming!
not only does it wrench at my gut when my babies are crying, but it also drives me insane. i get all anxious and frustrated and helpless. now having two babies that tend to like to schedule their fussy fits together, i am finding myself on the brink of needing to be placed in a bright white jacket with sleeves far too long for the normal population.
and with emma sick, her fussing is at an all time high. well, almost all time...a few months ago was the super cranky, fussy, whiny, make-my-life-a-living-nightmare stage. but now it is coupled with not wanting to take her naps. and, rightly so, given she can't breathe very well through her red, raw, teeny nose. but still, i love her old nap schedule. i need her old nap schedule. this 'one 1-2hr nap' just doesn't give me time to both nap and/or shower and get stuff done. please tell me it is just a phase that will get back to normal once she feels better. that and her waking up in the middle of the night. we get on such a nice run of sleeping through the night and then seem to regress. i am hoping again that it is just the sickness messing her up.
i wish i had a 'mute' button on my hearing. i would love to just turn off (or at least way down) the fussing. i just don't like how it makes my heart speed up and gets me all anxious and crazy. i think it is the total downside of being an empath. and it is intensified as it is my children.
so, now that my eldest has stopped crying and actually seems to have gone down for a nap (though my youngest is now picking up where her sister left off), i am going to try and take a nap. yes, i know...i am attempting the impossible. wish me luck.
i hate the screaming; i hate the screaming; i hate the screaming!
not only does it wrench at my gut when my babies are crying, but it also drives me insane. i get all anxious and frustrated and helpless. now having two babies that tend to like to schedule their fussy fits together, i am finding myself on the brink of needing to be placed in a bright white jacket with sleeves far too long for the normal population.
and with emma sick, her fussing is at an all time high. well, almost all time...a few months ago was the super cranky, fussy, whiny, make-my-life-a-living-nightmare stage. but now it is coupled with not wanting to take her naps. and, rightly so, given she can't breathe very well through her red, raw, teeny nose. but still, i love her old nap schedule. i need her old nap schedule. this 'one 1-2hr nap' just doesn't give me time to both nap and/or shower and get stuff done. please tell me it is just a phase that will get back to normal once she feels better. that and her waking up in the middle of the night. we get on such a nice run of sleeping through the night and then seem to regress. i am hoping again that it is just the sickness messing her up.
i wish i had a 'mute' button on my hearing. i would love to just turn off (or at least way down) the fussing. i just don't like how it makes my heart speed up and gets me all anxious and crazy. i think it is the total downside of being an empath. and it is intensified as it is my children.
so, now that my eldest has stopped crying and actually seems to have gone down for a nap (though my youngest is now picking up where her sister left off), i am going to try and take a nap. yes, i know...i am attempting the impossible. wish me luck.
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